


Not That Girl

by show_me_the_universe



Category: Wicked - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drinking, F/F, F/M, implied fiyeraba, literally just angst for the sake of angst, past Gelphie, past glinda/fiyero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24296425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/show_me_the_universe/pseuds/show_me_the_universe
Summary: So much has changed since Glinda became Glinda the Good...
Relationships: Elphaba Thropp/Fiyero Tigelaar, Elphaba Thropp/Galinda Upland, Fiyero Tigelaar/Galinda Upland
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Not That Girl

**Author's Note:**

> this is some angst that I wrote a long time ago and never finished, found it while I was digging through my files and decided to finish it and post it.
> 
> so yeah.. have fun with the angst, I do my best :)
> 
> tw: drinking and implied alcoholism

Up until this point in her life, Glinda had reserved drinking almost exclusively for times of celebration. Drinking meant being a bit giggly after too much of the fruity punch at the Ozdust, it meant being a bit tipsy from the champagne at the extravagant balls in the Emerald City.

Sometimes, drinking was for close warmth, intimate happiness. Sharing secrets after a wine-drunk pillow fight, curling up in the winter with warm cider, tipsy, hungry kisses in the moonlight. Glinda fought back the thoughts of exactly _who_ those tender memories were made with.

Up until now, drinking was associated with times of happiness.

Now… Glinda drank to forget.

Her life had become so much more stressful, more hectic, ever since being forced into the Wizard’s company. Most nights, she’d talk to Fiyero about all her troubles- that’s all he was really good for anymore, a set of ears to listen to her problems and a shoulder to cry on. Any feelings she once had for him had vanished ages ago like hazy fog in the sunbeams of dawn.

Some nights, she’d have a drink with Fiyero. When they were both drunk, he was a bit more pleasant company to be around. They’d laugh and reminisce about their days at Shiz, wishing to have their freedom and their innocence back, wishing to go back before everything changed.

Tonight, she drank alone.

Not because she wanted to, but because she _had_ to; because there was no one else by her side.

She didn’t even know what she was drinking at this point, she had just grabbed something from the cabinet and went to town. Whatever it was was distinctly bitter and still somehow sweet. Choking down gulp after gulp of the alcohol, she became aware of the clear stinging, burning in the back of her throat, she felt she deserved the pain that hid behind the sweetness of the drink.

Ultimately, though, she didn’t care how the liquid tasted. The past few days had been rough, she just wanted to forget everything...

* * *

_“Elphie,”_

_It was one of their stolen nights together, hiding away from the rest of the world where no one could find them._

_“Elphie, I’m so sick of this,” Glinda had spent most of the night crying, cracking under the pressure. “I can’t stand to see all of Oz out to get you. You’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up.”_

_“That’s a risk I’m willing to take. Animals have been mistreated for far too long, someone’s got to put an end to this, and that someone is me.”_

_“I just hate that you have to go through all this alone.”_

_“You… you know you could still join me, it’s not too late.”_

_“If I join you, things will only become more dangerous. Two people are a bigger target than one. And besides, I’m a public figure in Oz, if they find out I’ve sided with the witch-”_

_“Can’t you just use your publicity, your platform, to denounce the Wizard?”_

_“I’ve tried. I always get shut down right away. I want to help you, but I can’t, I want to leave, but I can’t.”_

_“Glinda?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“I love you-”_

_“I love you too.”_

_“But-”_

_“But? Why is there a but?”_

_“We’re growing apart.” Elphaba sighed. “Whether by fate or by choice, I just don’t think we’re seeing eye to eye anymore.”_

_“We’re seeing eye to eye, Elphie, believe me. But realistically, with the position I’m stuck in, there’s no way I can join you, there’s no way I can help you.”_

_“What’s stopping you? Aside from the danger, the risk, what’s stopping you from leaving the Wizard’s regime?”_

_Glinda hesitated as she came to a realization. “I’m... scared. That’s it. I’m too scared to take a chance. I hate the life I’m leading right now, but at least it’s a stable life. I don’t think I could handle the risk and the chaos of a life like yours.”_

_“Then maybe, my sweet, we just weren’t meant to be. Our paths crossed, and now they’re traveling in different directions, and it’s useless to try to force our paths back together. I hate to be pessimistic, but there’s no way this is going to work. With the lives we’re both leading, we cannot exist together.”_

_“So… is this goodbye?”_

_“For now? Maybe…” Elphaba kissed her slowly, sweetly, “But I certainly hope this isn’t goodbye forever.”_

* * *

The memory of Elphaba’s kiss was still fresh in her tipsy mind, she could practically feel Elphaba’s lips against her own even though it had been days since that quiet night in the middle of nowhere.

Glinda fought back tears as she realized again that the kiss they shared that night could have very well been their last.

Up until today, Glinda had kept a spark of hope, the hope in the back of her mind that maybe, just maybe, things would work out, that somehow her and Elphaba would be together in the end.

Things had taken a turn for the worse at her engagement party.

* * *

_Glinda had been absolutely overjoyed to see Elphaba again- but what was she doing at the Wizard’s palace?_

_The guards- Fiyero included- had shown up to detain Elphaba, but the reunion of the three friends- their first time all in the same room since Shiz- brought a whirlwind of a conversation._

_Fiyero- who had quickly abandoned the engagement party to assume his duty as guard captain- seemed far more interested in Elphaba than in his fiancee... and he soon revealed why._

_“I’m going with her.” Fiyero had stated, plain and simple._

_“Why?” Elphaba and Glinda asked at the same time, both shocked._

_“Elphaba, I’ve had feelings for you since Shiz- junior year. I’m tired of having to fight against you, I’m tired of seeing the world turn against you. I really do care about you.”_

_“What are you saying?” Elphaba asked, maintaining her guard._

_“I want to help you, Elphaba. I want to join you in the fight against the Wizard.”_

_“Fiyero… you know that’s a huge risk, right? You’ve worked so hard to become Captain of the Guard, and you’re willing to give that all up?”_

_“I know it’ll be dangerous, but I hate to have you suffer all these hardships alone. I’d gladly give up the life I have now to fight for the cause and to keep you company.”_

_“Alright. But why here, why now?”_

_“I’ve been trying to find you for years...”_

_Glinda and Elphaba exchanged a glance- they had been meeting in secret a few times a year, how had Fiyero not thought to do the same?_

_“And now that I finally found you again,” Fiyero continued, “I figured I’d better take my chance while I had it. I’m risking everything for you, for your cause, because I care about you. I’d like to join you, if you’ll let me.”_

_With a lingering look towards Glinda- somewhere between a longing stare and a defiant glare- Elphaba took Fiyero’s hand and left._

* * *

Glinda wondered exactly what Elphaba thought of her now.

Did Elphie think she was selfish? Conceited? Too shallow to put the needs of others before herself? Did she come off as ignorant or rude? Maybe even uncaring altogether?

She wouldn’t blame her at all for thinking that. But ultimately, she was stuck in her position as Glinda the Good. Her disappearance would be a national crisis, her siding with the Wicked Witch would be a catastrophe, a death sentence in itself. 

Elphaba insisted that all Glinda had to do was ignore her fears. But locked in the iron grip of the Wizard and Morrible, there was no escape, she had every right to be afraid to leave.

And Fiyero… it had been years since she actually loved him, but he was the last anchor to her old life, he was the only person left Glinda could truly open up to, besides Elphaba of course.

Their marriage was supposed to provide a stable platform for her, a way to stay grounded to her old life, but now even that was gone.

Maybe, Glinda realized, this was what she deserved for choosing not to rebel with her friend all those years ago. She made the wrong choice, and a sad life of loneliness was the consequence.

Fiyero had been nothing but kind to her, and she shut him out. He had every right to want to leave. Elphaba, too, deserved to have a loyal companion, someone who wasn’t afraid of doing the right thing.

Glinda wished she could be everything Elphaba wanted her to be, while still being the leader society wanted her to be… why were the two ideas so conflicting…?

Glinda took another drink from her half-empty bottle of alcohol, already preparing for the hangover she’d face the next morning. The coming headache was worth getting to be free from her miseries for a night...

There was a girl out there who deserved Fiyero’s kindness, a girl who deserved happiness and freedom and a life of safety. There was a girl who deserved to have her voice heard, who was relentlessly passionate about pursuing her goals, a girl who was truly fit to be a leader in Oz.

Glinda knew she was not that girl.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ! :)


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